<\/p>\nStopped at the dollar store – saw this hideous thing – had to have it. . .<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s ugly. It’s filthy. It has an unpleasant texture. It’s a hideously unnatural color. But it gets worse.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s filled with little bones. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Then Audrey made it worse – she said, “It’s squeezy. It’s a puppy. What’s not to like?” Anyone who remembers what I used to be like when I heard “This is an unsuccessful encyclopedia salesman. This is two unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen.” can imagine what I was like at that point. I almost walked into a newspaper machine. My family will torment me by saying “squeezy puppy” to me when I least expect it now. . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Stopped at the dollar store – saw this hideous thing – had to have it. . . It’s ugly. It’s filthy. It has an unpleasant texture. It’s a hideously unnatural color. But it gets worse. It’s filled with little bones. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Then Audrey made it worse – she said, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n