Stopped at the dollar store – saw this hideous thing – had to have it. . .

It’s ugly. It’s filthy. It has an unpleasant texture. It’s a hideously unnatural color. But it gets worse.

It’s filled with little bones. I was laughing so hard it hurt. Then Audrey made it worse – she said, “It’s squeezy. It’s a puppy. What’s not to like?” Anyone who remembers what I used to be like when I heard “This is an unsuccessful encyclopedia salesman. This is two unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen.” can imagine what I was like at that point. I almost walked into a newspaper machine. My family will torment me by saying “squeezy puppy” to me when I least expect it now. . .