Monthly Archives: October 2005

Science Fiction Would Provide all the Answers

Science Fiction Would Provide all the Answers

If I could shrink everything, or even teleport everything, I wouldn’t have to pack. That would rock. I had to finish a couple of sewing projects before I could pack up the sewing room, though. After I move, I’m keeping it a secret that I sew. Nobody will know, so I will not be hemming pants or making curtains or anything like that. I’ll dive into my stash and create wild and wondrous things and if anyone asks me to make them, I will set the price astronomically high so that they’ll either back off, or make it worth my while. Hubby isn’t going to tell anyone he’s a programmer, either. These will be our secret alter-egos. By day, we will be average New Jersey suburbanites. I can hardly wait.

Exploding Head Syndrome

Exploding Head Syndrome

I was reading about this on some site or another (apparently it’s real, but it doesn’t involve any actual explosions or spewing out of brain matter) and I think it’s an appropriate description of my head right now.  Drove down to the new town today, made appointments to register the daughters in their new schools, scoped out the neighborhood retail and dining establishments, drove back up.  Got home in time to pick up daughter #2, swing by the asian grocer for bean sprouts and bok choy to go with dinner, got home and there was a message from daughter #1 that she’d missed her bus.  Back in the car, pick her up, sit briefly before beginning to prep dinner.  Nasty weather’s a-comin’, so my barometric sinuses are in overdrive, working on applying enough pressure for an actual head explosion (WITH spewing brain tissue!  Film at 11!) and when hubby walks in the door, I realize I forgot to go to the pharmacy to get my prescription.  And he couldn’t find the property tax bill until it was too late to pay it.  And tonight we have violin lesson and survivor night.  So tomorrow, I’ll be running two extra errands in addition to trying to pack a few dozen more boxes.  And Saturday, the home inspector comes early in the morning, we have to drive to south Jersey to borrow Mom and Dad’s pickup truck, and back, take the kids to a halloween party, and pack more boxes.  Sunday, we’ll start the day with some more box packing, then another halloween party.  Monday, I’ll pack some boxes, pick up daughter #2 and get her in her costume, then spend an hour or so taking pictures of the school halloween parade, and then, for a change of pace, pack some boxes. 

It would help a lot if my head would explode already, then I’d stop thinking.

James Lileks Has Done it Again

James Lileks Has Done it Again

I desperately needed to get out of the house last night, so I headed off to Borders and found “Mother Knows Worst,” by James Lileks.  (http://www.lileks.com/)  I sat in the cafe, enjoying my cappuccino, and spewing crumbs of blueberry scone all over innocent fellow patrons.  People kept turning around, even the ones who were out of firing range, to see what had me in such hysterics.  He has taken snippets of ads and books from the 60’s and before, about baby care advice and products, and added his side-splitting commentary on each.  His previous work, “Gallery of Regrettable Food” had the same effect on me.  Both had to be read in one sitting, and with a safe distance between me and anything that couldn’t handle food stains.

He does do some serious commentary, but check out the website for a taste of his humor.  And buy the book.