The Star-Ledger has a weekly insert called “Homefinder”, and it’s often good for a laugh, if only because some of the prices are so unrealistic. (It’s a sad, bitter laugh sometimes. . .) Now, one of the features at the front of the insert is a listing with photos that classifies three separate properties in price order, titled “First Time”, “Move Up”, and “Arrived”. The implication is that as homeowners move up the ladder of financial success and social prestige, their home prices and locations will reflect the improvement of their status. Of course.

I’m sure I’m not alone in the thought that this takes place over time, in a linear, non science-fictiony way. Like, as the homeowner “moves up”, he or she also ages proportionate to the years that have passed. Assuming this is true, one of today’s triad of properties was humorous, indeed.

The first home is irrelevant, clearly a starter property aimed at young people with children or planning on children. The second one, the “Move Up” property, is a 2800 square foot, three bedroom, three bath home for $429,900 – it’s in an adult community. If the adult community is the “Move Up”, then the “Arrived” would be, what, a nursing home? Better be a pretty darned fancy-pants nursing home, I’d say. But no! The “Arrived” property is a five bedroom, one and a half bath colonial with a detached garage and full basement. . .and an excellent school system!!!

Hubby and I were lucky we weren’t drinking our coffee at the time, so nothing icky got snorted all over the kitchen. We’re picturing pregnant old ladies. . .new technology allowed a 67 year old woman to give birth, it’s only a matter of time until 80 year olds can do it, too! And just imagine – you know how hard it is to get around during that last trimester, right? You’re huge and unwieldy, waddling about, but imagine how much easier it would be with a walker! The first person to patent a combination walker/stroller will make a mint!

OK, maybe this is just funny to me. I am easily amused, after all. And very visual. And it was early in the morning.