Monthly Archives: March 2007

Mar12

Yeah, She Showed Me!

Posted on by
Yeah, She Showed Me!

I was off doing all kinds of errands today, and in between poking and prodding (medical tests, nothing unusual) and shopping, I decided to see if the CVS had an item that the KMart didn’t. I got stuck behind a very big, very slow truck on Hooper Avenue, and decided to pass it. On the left, signalling before pulling out, and again after pulling in front. Because the truck was so big, I hadn’t been able to see that there was another car in front of it, so I didn’t have too too much room to pull in between that one and the car I could see, and since the traffic in front of me was too slow and my turn came up before I could pass more than just the truck and the car in front of it, I pulled in front of the car I hadn’t seen and the one I did. Again, signalling before I did it, and with plenty of room to spare.

So, the car I pulled in behind hit her brakes suddenly. No problem, I figure it’s one of those old ladies braking in advance of the traffic light. I drop back. She hits the gas, but I don’t need to rush up behind her, because the CVS is at the next light, and it’s red. So what if there are about ten car lengths in front of her? I see her check her rear-view and hit the brakes again. I take my time, as I approach, she starts braking, inching forward, braking, inching forward. . .but it isn’t until I put my signal on to turn into the CVS and she stops completely, blocking the entrance, that I realize she’s trying to teach me a lesson! Holy cow! This stupid, stupid woman is playing a game, with an 18-wheeler behind two other cars, because she’s got some kind of bug up her ass! (Not meaning me, of course. Heh.) I mean, really – I didn’t pull up on her tail, I didn’t cut her off, I don’t know where she got the idea that she should be trying to make me rear-end her. AFAIK, she must have just happened to be looking in her mirror at the same time as I pulled behind her and thought that I was some kind of maniac speed demon trying to push her off the road or something. So I slowed down, came to a full stop a couple of car lengths behind her, and waited patiently until the other drivers started pulling around and in front of her (the light had long since turned green) and she got tired of playing. Yep, she sure showed me how a SAFE and CAUTIOUS driver handles a vehicle. She should be a driving instructor. One day she’ll show people what happens to people who play games with angry drivers, instead of contented ladies enjoying a lovely day of knocking things off their to-do lists.

Mar11

#1 Ugly American Restaurant

Posted on by
#1 Ugly American Restaurant

I’m giving this special award to Chevy’s, which likes to call itself “Fresh Mex”. I’m wondering if they actually have anyone on their staff besides busboys who speaks Spanish at all. I’ve ridiculed them for years because they make their tortilla chips with “El Machino”. Every truly Ugly American knows, of course, that in order to make yourself understood in Spanish, all you need to to is speak really loudly and slowly, and add “O” to the ends of English words. Fortunately, “El machino” is pretty inoccuous, since it means nothing at all in Spanish. (The Spanish word for machine, BTW, is “Maquina”, which would get the feminine article, “la”.) Today, however, their ignorance and UA-ness moved me to post. In an advertisement, they are promoting “dinero” for two. Lissen up, Chevy’s, if you’re going to pretend to have anything to do with Mexico whatsoever, you need to learn that sometimes a word with the UA “O” added to the end of it is simply an Ugly American tourist word. Other times, though, it turns out to be a real word, and in this case it has nothing to do with what you think it does. “Dinero” is not “Dinner-o”, but “Money”. I would like to sponsor a protest in which pairs of people converge on Chevy’s restaurants around the country and ask for their “Money for two”. It doesn’t say exactly how much money, but I think enough people asking for it will eventually either impact the bottom line, or get them to stop pretending to be Mexican while simultaneously butchering the Spanish language.